Better Parenting : How to Not Lose Yourself

Being a parent is a wonderful feeling. To have someone depend on you, someone who is the closest to you in the world is indeed a thing of beauty.

However, it is also true that being a parent is no piece of cake. Be it basic responsibilities of the child or trying to be a better parent than all the examples you have been seeing around you, parenting is a full-time job.

Everything you do is going to be absorbed by your child, and they will go out in the world to reflect the values and things they get to see at home.

The opening scene of Before Midnight is a gentle and wonderful depiction of how parents should be. Ethan Hawke's character is dropping off his son at the airport to leave for his mother's place. He keeps asking him questions about his life and does not get angry when the responses are short or blunt. He remembers what his favorite chocolate is, and promises to meet him later on. He kisses his head and hugs him and is verbally affectionate. These little gestures and actions are important in the long run as it cultivates a feeling of openness and comfort in the child.

If you have been feeling a little lost about how to go ahead with your relationship with your child, then here are a few pointers for you that will prove to be effective.

Remember to be welcoming.

Allow them to express their opinions. Do not laugh at them if they are being absurd or silly. Oftentimes we end up hurting feelings by doing something that may seem inconsequential to us.

Develop a ritual

Make sure you do something with your child that they will remember. It can be something like going on a walk and eating ice cream later on every week, or always.

hugging them goodnight. Familial habits bring comfort and joy and you both will like it when distance comes in between you both when they grow up and go out.

Don't let it be a one sided dynamic

Of course your child cannot solve your problems, but if you share little issues with them and treat them like a responsible person who is capable of having important discussions, they will not hesitate when they have to bring their own problems to you.

Be better than what came before

With your own parents, you must have seen where they had a few shortcomings. Of course, that doesn't mean they loved you less or loved you wrong, it simply means they had a different outlook than yours. Incorporate their values and learn from their mistakes. Be patient. Be kind.

These are some points that you need to remember and inculcate diligently in your lifestyle if you want to see some results that will help you and your child in the long run.

BookPal hopes you have a stress-free, comfortable relationship with your children.