- 5 Ways to Strengthen the Bond between You and your Child

 

When you become a parent, you feel like you have gained something that is not easily available to just anyone. You brought a person to this world and now you get to be their guiding light. Childhood is like clay, and people around help shape it for the child. When the child grows up and goes out to navigate the world on their own, they will always look back to their childhood and think about how people treated them. All of our efforts, in the beginning, will prepare them for the world and shape them into the person they will go on to become.

 

In order to achieve all this, you need to strengthen your bond with the child. Depending on what stage you are in with them, that is, are they still a child, or nearing adolescence, you will have to use different methods for them.

 

Here I have tried to compile ways in which you can extend a hand of warmth towards your child so that they remember that after all is done and dusted, there is no place like home.

Indulge In Their Interests

When your child comes home to discuss a match of football or cricket or wants you to listen to them talk about their favorite facts about jellyfish, you have to listen. You should not dismiss them by saying all of these things are of no use to you.

This will have two benefits - they will feel safe and confident in coming to you with things, and they will feel encouraged to keep working on their interests.

Talk To Them Without Belittling Them

When you are interacting with them, talk to them like you would talk to a peer, without making them feel like they are too young to understand things.

Instead of saying, “this is not for kids,” what you can say is, “you will understand it when you grow up a little. I too did not get all of this when I was your age.” Building familiarity with them will help them know that you too have gone through similar things.

Talk About When You Were Young

The common misconception is parents end up belittling their children’s experiences. This can be because of quite a few reasons, but parenting is a dynamic process in which you learn something every day.

Instead of saying things like -

Oh, I got more marks than this when I was your age.

We used to have it tougher than your generation, so suck it up.

You can say things like -

I am proud of how hard you have been working lately.

If we had half the resources your generation has, we too would have done great.

This is the childhood that you are dealing with, and you don’t have to reminisce over your own and feel bitter or project it on them.

Make Them the Centre of the Conversation

When they tell you things, ask them about how they are feeling, and how they want to go about things. You can ask for their help in picking out places to visit when you are on vacation, and go to them for “advice.” This way, they will understand that this is a two-way road, and will come to you when they feel some discomfort or have something celebratory to share.

Do Not Betray Their Trust

It is a common trend for parents to air their child’s business amongst their group of friends, in the name of bonding. But you have to remember that it is your child’s life that you are discussing, and you need to be sensitive about it because no one else is going to be. Build a bridge of trust between you and your child so that they can find you in their darkest moments.

Parenting is the act of reaffirming the fact that you are now responsible for someone’s entire life, at least for a while. It is more than your duty, it is now an act of love on your part to provide your child with a loving home and someone to turn to. Before trying to be your child’s friend, be a good parent, because those don’t easy and don’t come in large numbers.

BookPal wishes you strength and hopes for the best on your journey in parenting.

• Advice to parents on how to become better at talking to your child
• 5 ways to strengthen your bond with your child

When you become a parent, you feel like you have gained something that is not easily available to just anyone. You brought a person to this world and now you get to be their guiding light. Childhood is like clay, and people around help shape it for the child. When the child grows up and goes out to navigate the world on their own, they will always look back to their childhood and think about how people treated them. All of our efforts, in the beginning, will prepare them for the world and shape them into the person they will go on to become.

In order to achieve all this, you need to strengthen your bond with the child. Depending on what stage you are in with them, that is, are they still a child, or nearing adolescence, you will have to use different methods for them.

Here I have tried to compile ways in which you can extend a hand of warmth towards your child so that they remember that after all is done and dusted, there is no place like home.

Indulge In Their Interests

When your child comes home to discuss a match of football or cricket or wants you to listen to them talk about their favorite facts about jellyfish, you have to listen. You should not dismiss them by saying all of these things are of no use to you.

This will have two benefits - they will feel safe and confident in coming to you with things, and they will feel encouraged to keep working on their interests.

Talk To Them Without Belittling Them

When you are interacting with them, talk to them like you would talk to a peer, without making them feel like they are too young to understand things.

Instead of saying, “this is not for kids,” what you can say is, “you will understand it when you grow up a little. I too did not get all of this when I was your age.” Building familiarity with them will help them know that you too have gone through similar things.

Talk About When You Were Young

The common misconception is parents end up belittling their children’s experiences. This can be because of quite a few reasons, but parenting is a dynamic process in which you learn something every day.

Instead of saying things like -

Oh, I got more marks than this when I was your age.

We used to have it tougher than your generation, so suck it up.

You can say things like -

I am proud of how hard you have been working lately.

If we had half the resources your generation has, we too would have done great.

This is the childhood that you are dealing with, and you don’t have to reminisce over your own and feel bitter or project it on them.

Make Them the Centre of the Conversation

When they tell you things, ask them about how they are feeling, and how they want to go about things. You can ask for their help in picking out places to visit when you are on vacation, and go to them for “advice.” This way, they will understand that this is a two-way road, and will come to you when they feel some discomfort or have something celebratory to share.

 

Do Not Betray Their Trust

It is a common trend for parents to air their child’s business amongst their group of friends, in the name of bonding. But you have to remember that it is your child’s life that you are discussing, and you need to be sensitive about it because no one else is going to be. Build a bridge of trust between you and your child so that they can find you in their darkest moments.

 

Parenting is the act of reaffirming the fact that you are now responsible for someone’s entire life, at least for a while. It is more than your duty, it is now an act of love on your part to provide your child with a loving home and someone to turn to. Before trying to be your child’s friend, be a good parent, because those don’t easy and don’t come in large numbers.

BookPal wishes you strength and hopes for the best on your journey in parenting.